Freedom is that moment of calm before the fear sets in. No matter what you’ve freed yourself from you only get so far down the road before you are forced to make a choice and sentence yourself to the next adventure.
I wish I had written that because it so eloquently has meaning on many levels. So, if you can tell me which television show this came from, you will win a prize from my online store. This one may be tough on several levels because I can’t remember if it came from a show that involves supernatural characters or one which takes place where I am writing this now. I forgot to tag it but I’m pretty sure it’s the former so good luck!
I talk a lot about freedom because it is so important when you are trying to be healthy. On the simplest level, you need the right to choose which type of health care you wish to receive and from whom. That right is being slowly chiseled away at every day without many people noticing; but it is happening.
Sort of what is happening on Downton Abbey as we speak. As WW1 comes to a close the entire way of life of the landed gentry is crumbling around and Mary sums it up when her maybe soon-to-be husband Sir Richard wants to buy a very large manor and she is inquiring as to where they will get all the furnishings. Sir Richard of course, being new money and on the cusp of the new world order says to her – we will buy it. Mary turns to him and says, “your lot buys it and our lot inherits it.”
But freedom when it comes to eating is an amazing concept. Sometimes I call it being in the flow – you are just one with your health; one with your desire to be healthy and therefore, no bad decisions can occur; but then, for most of us, the fear is right there under that surface waiting to arise. For most overweight people, we are fear driven.
We are afraid of being thin, afraid of gaining weight, afraid of being fat – afraid really of being ourselves because for the most part, we don’t know who that is. Having a serious weight issue at any time in your life will scar you and you just think differently.I will always have body dysmorphia – forever seeing that fat adolescent in the mirror; never wanting to take my shirt off in public; afraid of being the last kid picked for the team.
That’s what being overweight in my formative years did to me. So, when I indulge in something I know I shouldn’t be eating, I am afraid I won’t be able to stop. For instance, when I saw Blair on Gossip Girl standing in line at La Duree for macaroons, it took everything in my power to not rush up to the Upper East Sideand buy them myself. It’s a visceral reaction and almost Pavlovian – mmmm – the Pavlovian chocolate macaroon – to die for.
I am afraid that I don’t want to stop and then “it” happens. The choice. The choice to be healthy or the choice to go back to being unhealthy, fat, abused and unloved. Continuity is an important tool in dieting. Making the right decision over and over again.
Speaking of continuity, it is just as important in good television and that’s why I am mad at Shameless this season. One of my favorite shows which supposedly takes place in Chicago has shown exterior shots of palm trees and mountains – thinking no one will notice. Well, I just called you out on it. I only mention this because it is one of my pet peeves – continuity counts!
There’s no fun in being a food addict, and don’t kid yourself, that’s what we are – it’s what we all are – thin or fat. Some of us have learned to control it better than others – but that fear is lies just under the surface.
This blog is starting to get a little depressing and certainly more revealing than I set out to write so time to bring up a little housewives. As many of you may know and if you don’t what is wrong with you people – is your DVR broken? The girls of RHOA are in South Africa– the least African country there is. Anyway, that’s irrelevant to this tale; but, Sheree is listening to Phaedra speak about knowing the kings and queens of Africa (again, just reporting here) and Sheree turns to camera and says, “you may know kings and queens but you are sitting here in a robe from Marshall’s.”
Because you know, it is only a matter of time until the next obstacle arises; the next challenge. Whether that comes in the form of a business trip or a holiday or a party; you know one is coming and that’s when you have to make the decision to be back in the flow; remain in control and be prepared for the adventure. Just as Mercedes from Glee is willing to be in control of her destiny because as she says, “if I have to hawk my weave on ebay, I am going to the Michael Jackson tour when it comes to Ohio.” She is willing to give up the most important and most expensive thing in her life because it is something she wants and desires more than anything – that’s the conviction we need when we want to be healthy.
That hardest part is knowing that it actually is an adventure; a journey that we will be on for the rest of our lives. Getting thin, staying healthy is not an on/off switch – it is a constant choice that plays out everyday. We each have to learn how to be masters of our lives and be good scriptwriters for our adventure on this planet. The good thing is – if we don’t like what’s happening in our lives, simply rewrite your script and be prepared for the ride of your life.
Smash is a Smash in case you missed it!!!! Before I let you go, did you think I wasn’t going to mention Madonna at the Super Bowl. Despite a misstep or two, you try dancing on stage in those heels at her age. Let’s see GaGa attempt that in 30 years if she’s still around and still relevant. Madge rules!!!! And If you know anyone who can get me tickets to her concert, please let me know.
Until next time…..
P.S. – do we really think Georgina is Gossip Girl?