At Last

I can finally say that there is absolutely nothing on my DVR, with one small caveat – while I am writing this – I won’t be able to say that later but for now, I feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement for having tackles that Herculean task.  It has been an action packed start to the TV season and an action packed autumn for me.

For the five of you out there who read this blog, you know that I am trying to secure a place on television for myself.  After all, what could be better than combining the two passions of my life – health and TV. However, I must let you in on a little secret; and it’s not that The Secret Circle is a really good show and that I just admitted that I watch it.

I have a big meeting in LA in a few days and only found out about it yesterday.  Do you know what it did to me? It brought out my inner food disorder in a major way.  It’s a shame too because I had been doing so well with eating more and gaining muscle and my clothes still fit because I have been exercising 5 days per week religiously for 15 months.

Before I go too further, let me explain my disordered eating.  I used to be overweight and have struggled with weight since I was in college.  I eventually found how to control my eating and began a career in health and weight management.  I was able to maintain the same number on the scale for many years and knew what I could and couldn’t eat.

I then decided that I would seriously weight train – something I had always wanted to do but just “could never find the time.”  An excuse is an excuse is an excuse.  You can always find the time because if I can, anyone can.

So, I committed to a five day per week regimen and when I commit to something, I am committed (yes, I am sure many of you will think I should be committed after reading this but so be it).

Speaking of being committed – what was Tyra thinking when she had the girls ofAmerica’s Next Top Model (which btw, none of them has ever become a top model) dress up as Michael Jackson through the years.  And to top it off, LaToya, the least talented of all theJacksons, was a guest host.  I mean Really!  What was more bizarre – seeing LaToya, having the girls dressed as MJ or the fact that his doctor is currently on trial for his death while this show was airing.  That was bad taste if I ever saw it – of course I couldn’t stop watching and was so glad that the girls came in every color of the skin tone spectrum – just like Michael through the years.

Back to me.  So, as the months progressed, Shane, my trainer, would try to convince me to eat more so that I would gain more muscle.  I, of course, refused.  But, it became evident that I needed to if I was ever going to be able to gain muscle mass.  So, fast forward and the scale is 10 pounds more than it had for my entire adult life. It basically freaks me out but I must say I look better while still wearing the same size clothes.

I don’t know why I am telling you all this but the point is that once I knew I had this important meeting, I immediately wanted ice cream, Chinese food, cake – all the things I NEVER eat and most importantly, never even think about.  I became obsessed and then depressed that I couldn’t eat those bad foods.  And I never even eat them.

So, I think that while we each have our own disordered eating habits, we do live in America after all, we learn to overcome them if we want to be healthy and try to understand them so that you don’t give into your fears, your irrational thoughts around food (which is what I was having) or your guilt.

Guilt, after all, is still one of the lanterns that guides my way – Emily from Revenge said that, not me; but how perfectly does that apply to the way we eat and our relationship with food.

You have to begin to learn and most importantly maintain your healthy eating habits through the good times and the bad.  My need to turn to food for comfort or to sabotage myself when faced with this meeting helped me with my total commitment to a healthy lifestyle.

So even if I do get some sort of career in television, I promise you this: You will not lose me to the land of pole dancers and gluten free foods (which is what B said to S on Gossip Girl this week when S almost took a job in LA). New Yorkis home, despite the weather I hate so much.

Ok – here is another very easy trivia question and whoever gets it right first, wins their pick from my online store so name the character this happened to, who said it and what show: “An A minus is an Asian F.” And for extra credit: “I am not afraid of your inner bridezilla.”

Before I let you go, how cute of it was for Simon Cowell, LA Reid and Nicole Scherzinger (who is she anyway?????) to invite us into one of their many multimillion dollar homes on The X Factor?

Until next time…..